The Second Day

I cannot think of a time in my life when I was able to easily focus on just one project, one skill, or one curiosity. The world is simply too full of grand ideas that demand to be played with, useful abilities to be gained, and interesting things to be explored. I have a kind of insatiability when it comes to novelty that carries over even into the spiritual part of my life. After all, there are literally hundreds of Names out there. There are enough well known ones to occupy a lifetime of study, and there are more than a few who have very little literature about them and are therefore intriguing in a different way.

My list of encounters grows year by year and there really is no way to not be at least somewhat interested in a Name that has shown up in your living room. Even the more obscure ones whom I have more or less randomly approached have proven to be powerful presences. I remember fondly a time when I asked Shai a question in a sort of off-handed way. It started with a response to a forum post on a pagan site when a question about Shai and Renenet and the nature of fate came up in conversation:

"Short honest answer: I haven't got a clue; the jury is still out for me as to what exactly 'fate' means in a modern context. In fact, I had to look them up just to recall who they were. But...they are Names. That said, I would assume they can answer questions about their own nature, and I have been wanting to investigate and approach some of the lesser known Names, so…I’ll go ask.”

I was not really expecting to get an answer—I’ve spent a lifetime getting used to asking questions that are never answered by anyone—but I did get an answer, a definitive one, only moments after asking my question. With it I got a sense of bemused interest that I had bothered to ask in the first place.

Apparently, not everyone does this.

Not everyone thinks to just ask when the big questions come up. You’d be surprised how often They are willing to act as teachers—especially the less commonly approached Names. The turnaround seems to be pretty quick even for difficult questions like “What is the nature of fate?”

I have lots of questions. Big questions. Questions none of my human teachers can answer. So the Names I seek out or show interest in are usually those who stand the best chance of being able to answer the questions I have.

But I also turn to them when I have fears or need guidance in something beyond my experience. 

I turned to Nebt-het to help me deal with the wait for my mother’s death and to help me cope through the several traumatic hours that it took for my mother to let go of her body and start her journey west. I turned to Her when designing the akhu shrine. I turned to Her to help me bring my mother home at the end of the 70 days. She is still on my mind as I continue to process the experience of grieving for the loss of a parent.

So…Shai and Nebt-het at the moment. 

Shai because I never quite got over that fascination (and might never stop thinking back on the answer) and Nebt-het because even though I have not had contact with Her for quite a while now, She is still an enigma for me and still very relevant to my current life experience.  

Of course, I also have a list of Names I have no experience with and know nothing about but who I find interesting for reasons I can't even pin down, but I think that is more the topic of discussion for the third day, so I'll save it for tomorrow.