Dealing With Shame

When I went before Sekhmet to thank Her, an image popped into my head as I sat praying— an archer drawing a bow. The significance of that didn’t strike me until much later, but I eventually recalled something I had heard from Them in a quiet moment several years ago:

We can guide an arrow, but the archer must draw the bow.

The point was well taken: if I lounge in self-pity and inaction, there is nothing They can do to help me*. My medical problems weren’t on their way to being dealt with until I started Googling doctors and making calls. She led me to the healer I needed, but I had to start walking in order to make sense of the map.  I kicked myself for waiting and moved on with things, resolving not to wait so long before acting in the future, but the image didn’t go away and I slowly realized that I had made that promise before. Something was keeping me from taking action not just in this but in a host of other issues...

Results

Continuing on from the post yesterday, and the results of the appointment...

Sekhmet Convinces Me to Get Long Overdue Medical Treatment...

Fair warning: this post may be very uncomfortable to read and deals with a personal medical issue some people will find “gross” or even “disgusting”. It took a lot of courage to write about this publically because there is so much shame attached to it, and I’m still a bit uneasy with making it public knowledge because this “terrible secret” isn’t something I talk about with anyone in real life. But this is also my first real encounter with Sekhmet, one of my Beloveds, and it’s a huge thing in my life right now so if I don’t talk about it I continue on relative radio silence for lack of anything else I can maintain decent focus on. That said, I wouldn’t think worse of you for skipping this one.

Building a Shrine Part 3: With Bonus Material ;)

I still remember the intensity of that stare. They were in the center of the mall in a roped off circle—the local raptor rescue organization—and the young presenter had a golden eagle on her arm. He was restless and moving and making her nervous… and then he noticed me. Stillness. That stare. So keen and so persistent. No matter how she moved him, he contorted easily with that supernatural sense of balance that all birds have, so he could keep both eyes on me. I glanced down at myself looking to see if perhaps there was some glint on my shirt or pants that might draw such eyes. Nope. He was looking at me.

Building a Shrine Part 1

Building a shrine which represents my full line-up has proven challenging to say the least. Acquiring images that were agreeable to both the Names and to me took some doing. (Warning: lots of pics in the post)

First Thoughts on My (Awesome) Dual Parentage

It was 2006 and the silence in the late-90s Impala was stifling. The sun outside was beating down heat from above and the black tar radiated the same from below. The ancient AC of the car struggled to keep up. The sickly whirl of its fan was the only sound to cling to as I waited for her response. My ostensibly liberal Christian co-worker seemed stunned.

 Of all the religions I could say she had not been prepared for me to say Kemetic and was even less prepared for my brief explanation of what it was. It’s a modern faith that reestablishes the worship of the ancient Egyptian pantheon. I told her calmly. I didn’t say the word pagan but I could see it reflected in her eyes nonetheless. Her hands tightened on the steering wheel and my first thought was that I had just made this the most awkward Wal-mart supply run ever.