The Patience to Act

Not every action of faith comes with instant gratification.

I may know from experience that swimming in a cold river on a hot summer day will feel nice and be enjoyable. But the water is still cold and my skin is still warm. There is a shock on entering as those two things interact and adjust, and that shock takes some time to fade away into comfort. When we immerse ourselves in some ancient pattern of thought which does not mirror our modern state of mind, we feel that same shock as we adjust. There is a chance that the water is too cold and that we will never feel comfortable in it—but sticking a toe in is not enough to discern that.

I know the reply already:  “It’s just the way I am. I can’t force myself to accept something I just don’t feel.”

How do you know you don’t feel it? Or more accurately, that you won’t feel it if you give yourself the chance?

It is arrogant to think we know ourselves so well. Research has shown again and again that we are poor predictors of how we will react to things. Our current selves have difficulty accurately picturing how our future selves will feel about an event. Read this if you need descriptions of the actual studies that back up these statements. But I have a personal example as well:

Past Me: It is impossible for me to dribble cards. I simply can’t bend the deck with one hand like that and I am incapable of letting go of just one card at a time—my fingers aren’t sensitive enough to feel the edges of individual cards.  

*After four hours of practice which I was convinced would be futile*

Present Me: Wow. When did I learn how to dribble cards? Maybe the deck is just finally worn out enough to make it easier to bend? *tried it with a new deck and can still do it* Whoa! Seriously…when did this happen?

It happened during the four hours of practice, of course, but you’d be surprised how hard it is to convince yourself of that.

I had to learn how to channel strength through my fingers, and how to flex my hands, and teach the proper sensitivity to my fingertips….how does one accomplish these things? I’ll give you a hint: not by reading books or watching videos. Those things may help, but you can only learn by doing, and repeating that action even if nothing seems to come of it. Eventually, the hands learn…as if by magic. Something suddenly clicks and the movement is suddenly strong and supple and elegant. There are no words to describe exactly how it happens, but given enough time, it does.

The mind learns the same as the hands. Eventually, the bits of ritual that seemed odd and embarrassing take on significance and begin to feel powerful as the deeper meaning is slowly revealed with time. Remember that nothing is lost by trying. If the water never seems to warm, you can always get out of the river—but give yourself enough exposure to be certain of it.