Tuesday, October 23, 2012

My Feet Are Small in His Footsteps


I got to play the part of a trickster god. The dreamscape was a strange and warped mythology, filled with characters from my life, people who represented things far bigger than themselves.  My role was both eerily familiar and yet crucially different from the one I play in my regular life…
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I wasn’t a part of the cadre of others serving under the leadership of the one who oversaw us all, or I was, but not in the sense that the others were. I was largely distrusted and disliked by most of them. I sensed that I had earned this in some ways and that it was…useful, at times.

I watched and said nothing as they took a statue out of a sacred place. They had a good reason for doing so, but we all knew they would be in major trouble if the “big guy” found out—and it looked like he was going to. He returned unexpectedly and wanted to open the chamber where the sacred statue was meant to reside and retrieve it for some purpose. I stepped forward and quickly offered myself as the charming and humble servant who would do anything for him—he choose me to lead the procession.

 I used this place of power to alter the timing of events and distract him for a moment—opening an opportunity for the others to return the statue. The statue was where it was meant to be when he looked and the ritual he had come to enact was completed without incident. Oblivious to the deception  and my role in it, I received praise from him for a job well done and a trusting smile as I bowed humbly and expressed my loyalty to him aloud.

 I sensed the others resented me for that, because they knew (and had presently seen yet another example of) how untrustworthy I was. I also sensed that this was appropriate and necessary: right order had been preserved, which was the goal of everyone involved. I was satisfied with my work.

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There are things I want to be doing right now. But there are also things I should be doing right now, and so, for not having the motivation to do the shoulds and with the guilt of that not allowing me the pleasure of the wants, I end up staring at a wall and contemplating the meaning of strange dreams. It isn’t a matter of not having motivation, now that I think on it, as much as it is a matter of defiance in the face of duty. I resent the very nature of “should” and even the most enjoyable of tasks becomes an insurmountable obstacle. 

When she was alive, my mother said often that I lack discipline. 

But it feels more like I lack compliance.

 Is that a normal reaction?

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Later, I overheard an argument between two of them. Or maybe I stumbled upon one venting to another. She was unhappy at how she was being treated by a certain group. I did not help matters. I worked her into an even worse mood by relentlessly pointing her attention at the wrongs they had done to her—she was sobbing, so upset she was with this group, by the time I finished provoking her. I waited and let the pain consume her, then I handed her a card with the name of a different group. I freely admitted that I had fallen out with this other group some time before but that they might work out better for her. She took the card and made a decision to look into it. She wasn’t happy. She didn’t thank me. But I sensed that this was appropriate and necessary: no matter how traumatic the break, she was on a better path now. I was satisfied with my work.

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There are only two things in this world that reliably make me angry: oppression and criticism. I suppose that says a lot about the person I am.

Does that also betray my biggest latent issue with my upbringing? Does it betray that I always felt like my mother wanted to control who I was? That she was a perfectionist who never let me feel that I was “good enough” to just exist as I was? That every compliment was bookended by complaints?

Does it also betray that I couldn’t get along with my peers because I couldn’t conform? Because I refused to normalize? Because I didn’t want to be the classmate they wanted me to be or fit in the boxes they tried to shove me into? That even when I had friends, my relationships were always contingent on the other person not questioning or criticizing anything I did? 

Because I would readily believe any reality another person chose to represent so long as they afforded me the same courtesy…

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I felt the briefest sadness when the others would speak ill to me or look daggers at me. I felt the briefest longing when I watched them sit together and share in memories and games. That surprised me. For some reason, I had been expecting to feel differently about being the outsider. For some reason, I expected acceptance and power to remove the little pain in my heart. It didn’t. But I was still satisfied with my work and, more importantly, with my being.

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Why am I so uncomfortable with this dream? Why do I hesitate to speak of it? Is it because it seems to condone things I have been taught to condemn? Is it because I fear what others will think of me for dreaming this dream? Or is it because I secretly want to accept the lesson even though I am not sure it was a lesson at all?

It seems too much like a fantasy to take seriously. No—scratch that: fantasy dreams fade far more quickly and don’t feel uncomfortable to think about. This is something else. Is this a lesson? Is this some kind of permission?

No. Maybe. I don’t know. It’s dangerous to answer that question. Especially on my own.

I want to go sit in the shrine room and ask Him…

But I have things I should be doing right now…

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