"Should"

Somewhere along the way, my online life went from being something I was doing because I needed to do it in order to stay sane and connected, to being something I was doing because I “should” do it. And that’s a problem, because “should” is an inherently transactional thing which kills a lot of otherwise useful and enjoyable activities. 

That’s where this post could both begin and end, except that I noticed the problem of “should” cropping up in a space that hits a nerve for me. Because I noticed that it is also killing some folk’s personal religious practices, which is a crying shame.

A Road Untraveled and Three Inches of Grace

 I didn’t see the little girl lurking behind the row of parked cars until I was almost upon her. There was a bright flash of pink against the white ice that paved the street, and there was barely enough time to recognize the shape of pigtails. The roads were treacherous and I wasn’t going very fast but the ice fought me and the break pumped under my foot as I continued to slide forward. Groceries rolled off the back seat onto the floor, unheeded as I suddenly locked eyes with the child who had stopped in the middle of the road at her mother’s shout, staring at my car with the same sort of innocent fear one is more accustomed to seeing in the eyes of foolish fawns in the spring twilight.

This can’t be happening, I thought, please don’t let this be happening.

It didn’t.